Audience Feedback for Third Rough Cut/Action Plan

Click on the link for the audience feedback: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uEOoJSC9BQ

Feedback
Due to the cut not rendering correctly, there were some very obvious issues which were naturally addressed:

• Some people didn't quite understand the narrative, however, they needed to focus on the dialogue/voice overs because they are crucial to understanding the narrative.
• When the main character decides to leave the house, there are various sound related problems. For example, there are random noises that can be heard, instead of the music. Some other sounds can be heard from taps on the camera.
• Some people thought that the performances could've been better, especially the wife who lacked any emotion - didn't seem sad enough. Also, the main character could've been a lot more intense. Others found that the acting was suitable. 
• The title at the end wasn't positioned in a good place because the white text contrasted with the light background. Also, the title needed to appear on screen for a little longer.
• Music could be implemented to emphasise the emotion (this was removed due to failures in rendering).
• Another good point was that the dialogue was clear and there were good narrative devices i.e news reporter.
• Some felt that the children could've been shown to make the relationship between the father and children, clearer. 
• The voice overs of the news reporter could be altered, so there is a better allusion of a live broadcast appearing on a TV.
• There was a good sense of camera work and mise-en-scene.

Action Plan

• I will ensure that when I come to rendering the cut, I will check that it was rendered correctly.
•  I will alter the voice overs in the house, using Sony Vegas, so they become "muffled" and create a better sense of it being projected from a TV. 
• I will include the music, in the necessary point to emphasise the emotion, 
• The title at the end will be positioned somewhere more suitable, so it's clearer for the audience. I will also have the title on screen for longer. 
• Any taps on the camera, I will remove, so the sound is clearer.

Group Roles

Written and uploaded by Ismail Khwaja

Second Rough Cut Feedback/Action Plan

After showing our film to a group of people, their initial reaction was that it was much improved from the first rough cut. This was primarily because of the significant shift in sound mixing. Before, the voice overs were very unclear and difficult to understand, but the re-recording of voice overs and addition of more, have established the opposite feelings - they are now slower, clearer and therefore easy to understand. This also enabled the audience to gain a better grasp of the narrative, and it ultimately made the various scenes make sense. The audience understood why certain characters appeared so upset.

Additionally, it was pointed out that there was still room for some tweaking. As the music begins to play, simultaneously, there is a fade in affect to a close up of the main character. The audience felt that this was unnecessary and didn't serve any purpose. It instead detracted the audience and caused a loss of connection with the main character, because it potentially signalled a change in time. Furthermore, there was some uncertainty about the title of the film, as some thought it could have a better name. The "The" and "Spiral" within the title become lost with the surroundings, as well. Also, when the title appears, as the camera slightly shakes, the title also moves uncontrollably.

Action Plan
In response, I shall remove the fading effect entirely and extend the clip prior to this, so it smoothly transfers into the close ups of the main character. With regards to the title, I shall ask my class to see if they have any opinions for a different one. I will also try to cut the moment that the camera shakes at the end, and attempt to add the title before that.

Group Roles
Written and uploaded by Ismail Khwaja

Main Task:First Rough Cut Feedback

Initially, I showed a group of 10 students. These were their thoughts:

• The vast majority enjoyed the opening, particularly because the narrative seemed interesting and established a clear beginning to a story. 
• However, the general consensus was that although they enjoyed it, there was some confusion and misjudgment of the narrative. The audience were aware of a potential murder or death, but didn't necessarily understand how that tied with the main character and his family. So, ultimately, the narrative wasn't clearly established. 
• Some people pointed out that the performances, primarily the lead character were strong and enabled the audience to become emotionally entrenched with the character. Therefore, this clearly indicated to them that the death is significant for the main character. 
• Another issue was that in the opening half, there was a lot of background noise, which required some removal. This was mainly noticeable during the scene with the news reporter outside (due to the wind) and the scene in the kitchen (due to the droning noise, which is from an electric kettle). 
• Additionally, another issue with sound was that the news reporter spoke very quickly and it was difficult to understand. 
• Furthermore, the titles implemented seemed to follow conventions, but may need some tweaking. 

Group Roles:

Written and uploaded by Ismail Khwaja

Influential Film Feedback

Click on the link for our influential film feedback: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7hOW_D0UV0&feature=youtu.be

Action Plan
After presenting the influential film which I had analysed ('A Bronx Tale'), the class wasn't entirely sure on how that specific film related to ours. We stated that in terms of the narrative perspective, (as this occurs after the influential film opening) a murder occurs and we would be loosely basing our film on that aspect. The story would therefore revolve around a murder, but instead of there being gangsters, the story would focus primarily on the struggle of a Father and his family, as a consequence of this murder. Also, we would be adapting certain aspects of the influential film. For instance, the use of a voice over. We will only use this briefly, but it will also act as a narrative device, as the main character would say this murder will be his downfall. Additionally, the music suddenly changes and we will use this similarly to represent the shift in tone and indicate the next stage in the opening. As well as this, we will use an establishing shot, but this will not be to present the overall setting of our film, but in order for our main title to be inserted. We then posed the class several questions:

1. Where do you think the title of the film should  be placed? Beginning or end.

Their response to this was that they would prefer it was placed at the end of the opening.

2. What would you suggest if the murder isn't shown?
The feedback we received was that there should be signs leading up to the occurrence of the murder. I then pointed out that we would implement a news reporter scene at the beginning, which would inform the audience of  a murder already have taken place. This was then deemed to be an acceptable choice.

3. Do you like the idea of there being cuts in between scenes or should it be more organic and flow?
We mentioned before the response that the cuts would involve music in certain scenes. We intended to adapt the music so that it represents the main character's state of mind and to an extent be a catalyst for the audience because the story would lead to somewhere different, as a result of what has happened, Therefore, it will also be an indicator towards the darker tone being established. So in response, we were told that the cuts would be acceptable, provided the music would be suitable for what is occurring on screen and clearly reflects that. Instead of seeming incongruous in the moment it is implemented.

4. Where should we place our titles? Centre screen doesn't seem to suit our film.
The class felt that the titles in the influential film are quite basic and boring because they appear in the centre. Also, that font style was a representation of the era in which the setting of the film was and fits with the historical nature. Alternatively, we should consider placing the titles in the corner of the screen because they are usually placed in those areas.

Group Roles
Presented by Ismail Khwaja and Bibianna Fasogbon
Written and Uploaded by Ismail Khwaja

Animatic Feedback

Click on the link for our animatic feedback: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPK8G0LliN4&feature=youtu.be

Action Plan

The vast majority of the feedback received was very positive. The general consensus was that it certainly created the appearance of a film opening. It was apparent that the audience agreed on there being strong aspects within the storyboard, such as the very beginning with the news reporter being utilised as an understandable narrative device. The idea behind this was to create an immediate focus for the audience and enable them to therefore realise that the story will revolve around the murder that has occurred. Also, it was pointed out that camera shots were very effective, especially the close ups used of the main character because of the impactful emotions conveyed through the facial expressions (this was after he discovered the murder of his brother). In addition, the music implemented was deemed to be very suitable for the tone of the film and could be used within a fully licensed film. Along with this, the audience felt that the sound effects, such as the emphasis on footsteps had been chosen well and placed in the right moments. 

In order to improve, the audience suggested that if a slow motion sequence was used, it would probably be better for the actor (myself) to actually perform in slow motion to ensure that allusion was established. Alternatively, the slow motion shot could be used as a reaction shot, instead of it being at the beginning of the narrative. 

Group Roles:

Animatic presented by Ismail Khwaja

Written and Uploaded by Ismail Khwaja

Pitch - Audience Feedback/Action Plan

After the pitch we received feedback from our peers, lots of questions about our methods were asked and overall feedback was positive, the group seemed to like our idea and wanted to see what we could do with it.

Our Pitch: _____________________________

We were firstly given feedback on our title, at the time of the pitch the production did not have a title, Charlie gave us the suggestion of "Downward Spiral", which we decided to use as our title, it is appropriate to the genre of Drama/Thriller. The plot for the opening is of the murder of the protagonist's brother and if the production was to be full length then it would show the downward spiral of the protagonist after the death of his brother, battling bouts of depression and social issues.

Our second piece of feedback came from Toby, who asked us about how we would make the production believable, the murder was the main part in question. The actual murder would not be seen by the audience, only the aftermath. The believable aspect would come from the reactions of the family having just witnessed the news report regarding the brother's death. Another aspect that would be believable would be the details given in the news report, there would be police on scene and the body would not be on show, instead being covered by a sheet and investigated by forensics teams, similar to how the police would handle an actual murder scene. The news report itself was also questioned, news reports are not an easy thing to do , the recording of them is not the hardest part but editing it into the film, matching the size of a television screen and adding the various panels that news reports have is challenging. One possible solution for the issues with editing the news report is not showing the video but rather show a clip of the family watching the television with the audio from the news report playing, allowing for a reaction shot of the family.

Group Roles:
Written and Uploaded by Fraser Harrington